Sometimes Everything Changes
by Clairebear536
Summary: As Marissa's life spins further out of control, she turns back to anorexia as comfort. Summer reminisces about their past friendship. (post-finale)


-- Well, what do you know? I'm back. Sorry I haven't written in so long, but it's a little difficult when you've been in two different countries for the past six weeks, hehe. I don't have any Seth and Summer stuff (no ideas have popped into my head about that) and I'm sorry to report that I haven't been (and won't be) updating the futurefic that I wrote a while ago. This new story is about Summer and Marissa's friendship after the finale (when Ryan and Seth both leave). For people who like Marissa, she might not be portrayed in the best light so I apologize in advance. --

Certain events change people; some for the better, some take a turn for the worst. When Ryan left Newport to be with Theresa, Marissa fell apart. She turned back to anorexia, saving the few precious calories she consumed to waste away on alcohol, drowning herself in her own misery. Although Summer was caught up in her own problems with Seth's leaving, she still tried to support her friend. Summer tried her best to help her, but she knew better than anyone that it is impossible to save someone.

Sure, Summer knew about Marissa's first encounter with anorexia freshman year. In fact, she was the one who told Julie Cooper, who sent Marissa to rehab over winter break and into the New Year. Marissa didn't talk to Summer again until the beginning of the new school year. Summer never regretted telling Julie.

Sophomore year, the duo started experimenting with alcohol. Summer always thought that Marissa would overdo it sometimes, but it's not like she was one to condemn the act seeing as she did it herself. She wasn't too worried until she saw a bottle of vodka in her desk drawer.

"What is this?" Summer asked, fingering the bottle.

"Oh that? That's nothing. It must have been left over from a party or something," she replied, barely taking her eyes from her magazine.

Marissa used parties as excuses to get drunk, not as social gatherings. If she had the choice, she would do it alone, which to Summer it looked like she already had. Summer knew what the ramifications would be. She had enough alcoholism running through her family to last a century. This time Summer kept her mouth shut, even though she knew she shouldn't.

After Ryan left for Chino, Marissa spent more time than usual with Summer. Summer knew she had become sloppy seconds, but that didn't faze her too much. Since Seth was gone she was using Marissa for the same thing, right?

Marissa called Summer almost everyday, basically just wanting to get away from her mom. Today she asked if Summer wanted to go to the beach or catch a movie.

"Mmmhmm, but can it wait until Dawson's Creek is over? There's about forty-five more minutes of this episode," Summer said hurriedly, obviously wanting to get off the phone and back to her show.

Marissa just laughed, "You loser. But sure, I can wait that long. Do you want me to pick you up at around one?"

"Sure, that'd be great."

"See you then girl."

Summer immediately hung up the phone and was glued back to the TV. When a commercial came on she thought to herself, _"How sad am I? I'm watching old Dawson's Creek re-runs."_

Marissa picked Summer up at one o'clock like she said she would. It wasn't until they were pulling out of the driveway that they realized they didn't really have plans.

"So what do you want to do? Do you want to get a bite to eat? I haven't eaten all day and I'm starved," exclaimed Summer.

She could see Marissa visibly flinch for a flicker of a second.

"Umm, I actually already ate a big lunch," said Marissa. "But I'd be fine with just hanging out with you while you eat."

"Sure, if that's alright," responded Summer, tingles running down her spine for no reason at all.

"So, there's a party tonight by the pier," said Marissa, trying to divert the conversation.

"I guess you're going to try to talk me into going?" smiled Summer.

"Wellll…yeah," she laughed back.

"I'll go. But on one condition: please don't get drunk," Summer said in a soft voice.

"Why? I mean it's not a big deal. I just drink to have fun," Marissa replied, shrugging it off.

"Because I love you and I care about you. I don't want anything bad to happen to you. Ok?" she asked, patting Marissa's hand.

"Ok. I'll only have a few drinks," she smiled back, fully intending to have more.

They arrived at the party well after it had started. Marissa immediately went in search of booze while Summer looked around uneasily for someone she could talk to. Ever since the whole Seth incident, many of the kids at Harbor wouldn't speak to her anymore, as if in doing so they would be tainted. Before she could walk over to someone else, a group of three girls scuttled up to her and pretended to be cordial.

"I thought we wouldn't see you out after…you know. _Seth left you_," she whispered the last part.

Another girl chimed in with, "Aren't you supposed to be doing the whole widow-mourning thing?"

"This is why I come out," smiled Summer falsely. "It's to spend time with girls like you," she mocked without them fully understanding. "Excuse me, but I think I see Seth's boat coming in," she rolled her eyes and walked off.

It hadn't been more than forty-five minutes before Summer ran into Marissa. She was surrounded by a group of about five guys, no doubt making a fool of herself. When Summer walked up to her she shouted.

"Hey! Sum! Come on over and join the party!"

"Marissa…you promised me," sighed Summer.

"Oh Summer. Lighten up!" she playfully smacked her on the shoulder.

"Marissa, no one likes you like this," Summer whispered to her so the others surrounding them wouldn't hear.

"Well, do you know why guys like _you _Summer? Do you?" Marissa slurred. "Because you're a whore…just like your mother.'

"What the hell is this about? You're criticizing _me_?" Summer yelled. They began to get stares but she no longer cared. "Look in the mirror Marissa. _You're _the one whose life is out of control. You get drunk almost everyday, just drowning your problems in alcohol waiting for Ryan to come back and save you. Well newsflash Marissa! He's not _coming _back. He doesn't want you. He has Theresa now; he doesn't need _you_."

"You're the one who sunk as low as _Seth Cohen_."

"He loves me," she replied defiantly.

"Oh wait, he _loves _you?" Marissa asked mockingly. "Just like your _mother _loved you?" she said narrowing her eyes. "Face it, he left you just like your mother left you. You're a bitch; no one wants you."

"I hate you," Summer said in a low, even voice.

"Like I care," she spat out, turning her back.

Summer walked away from the party…from Marissa. Normally at a time like this, she would go to Seth. He was always the stable person in her life. Maybe Marissa was right. Maybe she was just unlovable and anyone who got close would leave. She got in the car and drove home, having nowhere else to go. She felt bad for leaving Marissa, but she would find her way home. She walked into her empty house and up to her room, taking out the worn letter from her vanity drawer. She couldn't count the number of times she had looked at this letter during the past month.

_I love you Summer, but I have to do this._

She read this line over and over. If he wrote it, he must have meant it. She knew that she loved him. God, did she know it. He was the first one to get through the barrier that she put up. Then he left her. If he loved her so much, why would he leave? There was only one conclusion she could come to: she just wasn't good enough. Not for Seth, or Marissa, or her parents.

--I hope you enjoyed this. It was just sort of a beginning chapter. If anyone has any ideas or things they want to see happen, just drop me a note and let me know. Also, please review because I greatly appreciate them! --


End file.
